Many of us have experienced the feeling of not being good enough, whether it’s all encompassing or brought on by certain stress-inducing situations. It is a fairly common cultural phenomenon to engage in social comparison, and to constantly strive for more — to have more and to be more.
For many, this pressure is embedded deeply within us. We may not even realize that we’re engaging in thoughts that perpetuate this feeling of not being enough. Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart or funny enough, not a good enough husband or girlfriend or friend.
This is ultimately a distorted view that disproportionately sees the self as a summation of flaws, rather than the unique, capable being that it truly is. This overestimation of flaws and an underestimation of strengths, is especially common for women and can take a toll on one’s mental and physical state, preventing us from accessing our true potential and joy.
Here is a brief restorative yoga and meditation sequence that can help you reconnect with that still and centered place within, helping you to let go of those feelings of inadequacy and boost your overall confidence. You can use a timer to help you and should try to have some support like a bolster, blankets, or a few pillows on hand.
1. Seated Meditation
Begin by finding a comfortable seat in Easy Pose, with your ankles crossed in front of you and knees resting slightly below the hips. Alternatively you can sit in Hero Pose (Virasana), with your knees together and sit bones to your heels. You can place a block or pillow underneath the sit bones to help elevate the hips and alleviate any discomfort in the knees.
Allow your body to relax deeper with every exhale as you begin to absorb its meaning. Even if this mantra feels artificial at first, by repeatedly focusing the mind on this simple truth, you are retraining your brain while subtly challenging habituated negative self-talk.
. Supported Child’s Pose
After a few minutes, begin to make your way into a supported Child’s Pose (Balasana), by using a bolster, thickly rolled blankets, or stacks of pillows between the thighs, so that the torso, chest, shoulders, head and neck are fully supported. As you sit back toward your heels and rest your arms by your sides, allow your body to fully release from the hips, tailbone, and pelvis, to the belly, shoulders, neck and face.
3. Spinal Massage
As the final pose, roll onto your back and hug the knees to your chest. Maybe rocking forward and back to massage the spine a few times, and then side to side to massage the whole back.
When we treat ourselves in a loving, tender way — both in our physical postures and in the things that we say to ourselves — we begin to believe that we are worthy of unconditional love, acceptance and support. And then those feelings of “not good enough” will begin to be revealed as no more than an illusion.